Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Realizations

Nick is on nights this week and that always proves to be a lonely time for me. I try not to let it consume me because I know he is working so hard and hates nights as much as me - but I can't help it. I just miss him! Well, last night I was determined to not be sitting at home missing him and actually made a plan for myself. I went to a nice dinner with my dad - just me and him - which is a rare occurrence. I really loved it = he is such a funny, happy guy and it was nice to have a daddy daughter date - I still need them, even at 28. He dropped me off and I came home to the dogs, which I am loving more each day, and my sister in law. Michele is still at home while she works and prepares to go to school at BYU-Idaho in January. It was so nice to come home to her and the dogs and not an empty house. We put in a movie and both fell soundly to sleep. I woke suddenly as I realized a dog was licking my feet and we both stammered up to bed. Well, I thought I would just fall back to sleep but I was wide awake and missing my husband, who really is my best friend, my comfort, the love of my life and my pal. In the midst of my wide awakedness, I decided to go hunt of our wedding album which I hadn't found since we moved. I stumbled into the spare room which is holding grounds for loose ends we haven't gotten too and in a few short months will be our babies nursery. A room I know will become so much more meaningful as it will safely nest our little miracle. In this room, we will spend sacred moments rocking, feeding, smiling and standing in awe of what we have created. It was in this room last night that I found my wedding album and thought about what bringing a baby home will mean to our marriage. It is a wonderful thing that we have waited so long for but I know things will change. These are some things I will miss once baby is here:
  • lazy mornings lying in bed talking
  • spontaneous drives and road trips
  • going to the gym together
  • sitting in church together holding hands (hopefully this will still happen :-) )
  • it just being the two of us - an ending to a chapter, a beautiful, happy chapter

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change anything. I already love this baby more than I ever thought possible but I will miss this part of our marriage. I do know that this baby will only make our love deepen as we continue to learn and grow together, something I am looking forward to! But in the meantime, I am savoring every moment we have!

7 comments:

James and Heather English said...

Babies definitely change a relationship, but in our case it brought out things I had never seen in James before (good things). It's so fun to see your husband interact with your child and how each of your parenting styles are trying to mesh together. It's hard to remember life before kids sometimes because it seems like so long ago! My advice is to go to a lot of movies because you won't be going to the theater again for a long time!! haha

Nate and Lori said...

I'm glad that you have the dog to keep you company. Its amazing how a dog can make you feel like you're not alone, even though you can't talk to them.

I think its great that you two have taken the time to build your relationship. I know that things will change for you but I think that you two will also be so happy. There are definitely good things to enjoy about each stage of life.

The Bradley's said...

Yes, it's true - having a baby changes things. But it doesn't have to change everything. You will find time for the things that are important to you. After all, one of the best things parents can do for a child is show them the love that they share. Your little one is so lucky to come into a home filled with love - and I'm sure it will stay that way. :)

Clark and Liesel said...

That was a great post. I feel the same way about life right now as you do. We are so excited about a baby too, but there are definitely things we will miss. I guess thats why you have to savor each moment and each stage of life that you are in.

Parkinson Family said...

What sweet thoughts to share Amanda. You are a beautiful writer. You can still have lazy mornings in bed! We love to lay Mackenzi between us in bed in the early morning and just talk and cuddle with her!

Aaron and Melissa said...

How cute! I remember those long lonely nights too...luckily my three wild kids kept me pretty entertained until they went to bed. DO treasure the moments you have now because some things WILL change, but change is good too! You are right on. . .your love and bond will grow. We are so excited for you!

Nicole said...

Change is good. After a while you may forget what life was like before baby... Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing :) Either way, having a baby changes everything and when it is done right (which it is) it's a spectacular change to everything! Life is never the same and you keep growing stronger -together as your son grows and passes milestones and through all the phases of life.